Thank you for that quote, I had never seen it. I did understand that the term galaxy was both solar system and "actual" galaxy. That quote is interesting indeed, it's as such they see the solar system as "a" central sun.
That contact in the LoO was very troublesome indeed, there was a huge amount of negative influence during trans and channelling, it is to be expected that mistakes were made.
The LoO was a great source of vocabulary, paradigm and overall cristallisation of the mind. It simplified many complex topics.

I checked out your links, unfortunately the frequency of the experiences explained in them are extremely low, and seek to insert ideas that are beyond our visualisation/understanding capacity. Feeding the expression of this old paradigm (mind control) will only lead to its survival. To watch these supersoldiers talk is the same as watching AI...

But thank you for the rest of the information.

I can relate to your pain on some level.
I myself had a complicated timeline, which did lead to a breakdown in 2019 and 2020.
I am not fully sure if my words will be of any help, but I do know the sensation of over-activation of indigo ray. I realised that this type of work, specifically within this environment of earth is very much painful and distressing to the point of pushing the mind to the sensation that there is no return from the mistakes that were made.
First of all, it may feel paradoxical but quitting weed is a great step to realignment. Despite it being a strong catalyst to push your neurons, the environment on earth just makes it so that you don't end up well after smoking long term. (Astrally it creates parasitic loops).

I myself have similar sensations due to the lack of heart ray / green ray exchanges here which are critical to opening gateways of intelligence.
I picked up the habit of cuddling my pillow since the age of 11 while sleeping. It is actually a meditative state where I allow my heart to open and feel the spirit pouring in. I cannot think of any other way I could have survived that many years. I simply cannot see any potential partner within the matrix who could be of compatible frequencies.
The way I healed after my last break down (I was trying to manifest disincartion) was through Xanax and Soliant (or amisulpride) in low doses, I am against medication but these two in low doses did help me relax to the point of being able to realign, there simply was no other way. It is my personal experience, my escape from a sensation of "no issues left/no return point". Once healed I quit them cold turkey. Very happy, no side effects that I could notice appart from me being less worried / manifesting pain.

Also friend, quitting cannabis is harder than you think, I have D.I.D and was abusing Opiates and Stimulants and Enthogenics for many years, out of them all, weed was the most leeching/addictive.

My advice would be to retreat In a very natural environment. To remove the chemical catalysts that keep in you in the state of "despair" even though paradoxically they may feel like they are the ones that can "get you out of there".

If you need to talk, for anything, may it be shadow work, expressing emotions, letting go of the regrets and/or fears. I am 10000% willing to talk to you as a gentleman friend.
I myself have been talking to a few friends for the past year to express my shadow, even though they are extremely confused about it all. Maybe it's just the need to share.

My personal journey from a point of blockages within the 7 rays of consciousness, which was healed through shadow work and visualisation (as a clue to what you could work with)
Orange : Overload/internalisation of emotions, inability to express self, inability to accept self.
Yellow : Desire of possession or being possessed (talking about other self) due to rejection from societal environment.
Green : Loneliness, no one to accept/return your love.
Blue : Inability to express thoughts and sensations because no one in the matrix would understand.
Indigo : Alienation and unworthiness

Once your alignment is clear, once your frequency is stably high, the doors will open themselves.
The doorways open once the self is ready.