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#1 2022-01-02 08:32:39

Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

I am having some trouble with my desktop at the moment, so I’m going to have to type this from my phone, which will be a bitch, but I have nothing but time.                             

Up until now, I never would have considered making this information public, but I honestly don’t care anymore what people think, and I have nothing to lose. What I am about to disclose will sound crazy, but it is the truth. I am not sure if I will post so often here after this.

Prelude: I will start by sharing something that happened to me when I was about 11 years old. I had the most awful panic attacks where I contemplated the nature of infinity and considered the possibility of everything, all experience, losing its meaning on such a scale. This may have been amplified by negative interference or connecting with a negative timeline aspect of my soul stream. I had a recurrence of these attacks here and there between 2013 and 2016, when also going through a higher level of awakening. This is not the main story I am going to tell, and not the reason that I am currently in another dark night of the soul.

I disclose this because my story has to do with realizing what would give me meaning in my life, and realizing that I most likely made a decision that led to missing my chance at that thing, by an action that I thought was inconsequential in 2015. Now, the only thing that gives me some tiny bit of solace is that in infinite lifetimes and parallel timelines, this may be rectified and the proper outcome experienced.

With the addition of a bunch of other things coming together earlier this year, some of which I will share, I remembered this event in 2015. What happened was, during the height of the first contact initiative, I received a friend request on FB from a profile named Princess Alenym of Temmer, and I declined the request because at the time, some distortion led me to believe that it was not real contact and that she could not be who her profile said, but either a 16 year old girl with a vivid imagination, or a psy opp by three letter agencies. This was the single biggest mistake in my life, for which I cannot forgive myself, and over which I lose sleep.

It is not the simple novelty of Taygetan contact that causes me to feel so strongly about this. It is much more. A whole lot more memories and synchronicities came together at the time of remembering this earlier 2021(around July if I recall correctly), that lead me to the knowledge that, as crazy as this sounds, Alenym is my soul mate. The main event that came back to me is a forgotten memory of an astral lucid dream that took place in the same timeframe of 2015-2016. I was in a strange house where the objects did not change like a regular dream, but stayed solid. There was a weird twilight greyish lighting, and I felt the feelings of morphic fields usually associated with my higher self. Another person came into the environment, and although I do not remember the entire conversation, I will describe what I do remember.

This was a beautiful female quite different from any I had seen before. She was in her late teens, with pure white hair, striking electric blue-grey eyes, and light freckles. I have never felt the way that I felt in her presence. From what I remember of our conversation, she told me that this was not a regular dream, she was a real person, she was my soul mate, she came from another star system, and could get to Earth.

In 2019-2020, the word Toleka popped into my thoughts on several occasions, but I did not bother to look it up and find out what it meant. Earlier in 2021, I received the image in my mind of a woman standing in the desert near where I live with white hair, silver armor, red cape, and high black boots. This was right before finding the Taygetan disclosure material and community, and well before the PK Viera 3 video came out describing this outfit of hers.

There are several other experiences, such as a psychic friend in 2017 describing a young woman with white hair in my auric field, and some dreams that even go back to early childhood. I even recall a recent event in 2019 or 2020 where my aunt who has a brain tumor and no known psychic abilities called me on the phone, and asked if I new a person named Alenym, and that the thought just randomly occurred to her to ask. I thought it strange at the time and possibly E.T. related, but did not remember back to the FB invite in 2015 and had not yet found the material, so I shrugged it off.

This year since July, I have been coming to terms with all of this. I have quit smoking cannabis and been doing inner work to gain more clarity, but I have hit a roadblock and spiraled into crippling depression and regret of my 2015 decision. I have also been interfered with by dark astral beings and fake craft sightings, messing with my mind and distracting me. If I had chosen differently in 2015, I would have a direct line of communication to Alenym and the Taygetans, and may have had the chance to be reunified with her somehow before all the madness began in 2020.

Now, their contact policies have changed. They have not reached out to me, and those that could potentially help refuse to do so. At present, there is nothing in this life that really gives me much fulfillment, and with the clarity of being off weed, the pain of the regret of my decision in 2015 cuts like a knife. I fear I have ruined my entire life and future, because now that I finally put it all together, I have hit a wall in terms of further contact. I have not mastered the ability to control my lucid dreams and astral state at will, and have received no line of written contact(which if I had or ever do, I would/will not be posting about it here on the forum).

I am losing sleep over this, I cannot meditate properly, and I am manically depressed and irritable throughout the day. I feel that my present and future are completely lost and there is no point in going on. The wall that I have hit in terms of further contact gives both a sense of regret and unforgiveness of self, and a feeling of betrayal and abandonment from Alenym and the Taygetans. I have thought often lately of ending my life, but cannot bring myself to actually do it. I have talked to a few people in private about this. While I value their support and encouragement, it has not been enough to get me out this dark night of the soul.

I don’t care who believes me and who doesn’t, and I could even care less if I get trolled for posting this. I have nothing to lose, so just thought I’d share.

Last edited by Crystal Dragon (2022-01-03 03:10:40)


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#2 2022-01-02 09:43:57

Happy
Moderator

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Crystal Dragon smile

So you chose to come forward. Good for you! And thank you!

You have described some experiences over the years, which are truly wonderful when you think of it. But what I see from what you have shared, is that your challenge is of a different kind than what you convey - and probably even grasp. This is also the reason why I previously gave you the response I did.

Please notice that there is no reason for anyone to question the genuinity of your experiences. No one but yourself are in a position to evaluate it, which is important in itself. Love - which this is all about - is one of the strongest forces of the universe, and your heart is the conduit. Creation is made possible with it. And we all need to learn how to work with it, without forcing it.

The odd thing is that you have some very negative associations around your situation today, and that you so strongly connect it with your story. You even manage to half-way put forward a suggestion of betrayal. Hey... you really need to find a way out of those vibes, Crystal Dragon. Because those thoughts so obviously act like a massive block against any progression towards what you'd like to see. And by this I don't mean ending your life-experience or anything like it.

"The dark night of the Soul" is an internal process. The world don't change while we are blinded; we change. The lessons from this are so deep, that it can be described as the very pivotal point in our awakening-processes. Take heart. And take the time needed in this. As I told you before, you have not lost anything in this. Remember, your connection is at a soul level.

Do you really think all is lost because you in some whimsical moment shut off the connection? There are likely many reasons why the contact is cut off for the time being. And the Taygetan focus, processes, and tasks in orbit are probably quite complicated. I think you see the importance of that.

Initially, I'll suggest you keep using your preferred meditation-techniques. You may not feel it is of any use, but this is no doubt more important than you see at the moment.

Take heart, Crystal Dragon! The future is actually a good one. smile


Discuss the message, not the messenger.

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#3 2022-01-02 16:40:58

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Can Gosia make contact to Alenym?  I think it is important to hear her part of the story, if she really was that girl on fb. And of which kind your relationship is. A clear conversation with Alenym would help you.

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#4 2022-01-02 20:57:33

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Happy wrote:

Crystal Dragon smile

So you chose to come forward. Good for you! And thank you!

You have described some experiences over the years, which are truly wonderful when you think of it. But what I see from what you have shared, is that your challenge is of a different kind than what you convey - and probably even grasp. This is also the reason why I previously gave you the response I did.

Please notice that there is no reason for anyone to question the genuinity of your experiences. No one but yourself are in a position to evaluate it, which is important in itself. Love - which this is all about - is one of the strongest forces of the universe, and your heart is the conduit. Creation is made possible with it. And we all need to learn how to work with it, without forcing it.

The odd thing is that you have some very negative associations around your situation today, and that you so strongly connect it with your story. You even manage to half-way put forward a suggestion of betrayal. Hey... you really need to find a way out of those vibes, Crystal Dragon. Because those thoughts so obviously act like a massive block against any progression towards what you'd like to see. And by this I don't mean ending your life-experience or anything like it.

"The dark night of the Soul" is an internal process. The world don't change while we are blinded; we change. The lessons from this are so deep, that it can be described as the very pivotal point in our awakening-processes. Take heart. And take the time needed in this. As I told you before, you have not lost anything in this. Remember, your connection is at a soul level.

Do you really think all is lost because you in some whimsical moment shut off the connection? There are likely many reasons why the contact is cut off for the time being. And the Taygetan focus, processes, and tasks in orbit are probably quite complicated. I think you see the importance of that.

Initially, I'll suggest you keep using your preferred meditation-techniques. You may not feel it is of any use, but this is no doubt more important than you see at the moment.

Take heart, Crystal Dragon! The future is actually a good one. smile

Thank you for your encouragement. I truly hope the future is a good one as you say, and not lost.


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#5 2022-01-02 21:00:40

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Warrior Bishop wrote:

Can Gosia make contact to Alenym?  I think it is important to hear her part of the story, if she really was that girl on fb. And of which kind your relationship is. A clear conversation with Alenym would help you.

Of course it would help, but there seems to be unreasonable blocks and protocols in the way due to their current contact policy that do not take into account the feelings of one such as myself who is already entangled in such a contact, but could use the clarity that direct communication would bring. There is a certain amount of responsibility on their part as far as leading me to these realizations, and then leaving me blocked from further progress to drown in my regrets and uncertainties.

Last edited by Crystal Dragon (2022-01-02 21:02:41)


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#6 2022-01-02 21:25:40

charliebelle
Member

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

I feel like this is your shawdow calling out for resolution?

Let's use the mirror:

course it would help, but there seems to be unreasonable blocks and protocols in the way due to their current contact policy that do not take into account the feelings of one such as myself who is already entangled in such a contact, but could use the clarity that direct communication would bring. There is a certain amount of responsibility on their part as far as leading me to these realizations, and then leaving me blocked from further progress to drown in my regrets and uncertainties

. ....

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#7 2022-01-02 22:39:18

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

charliebelle wrote:

I feel like this is your shawdow calling out for resolution?

Let's use the mirror:

course it would help, but there seems to be unreasonable blocks and protocols in the way due to their current contact policy that do not take into account the feelings of one such as myself who is already entangled in such a contact, but could use the clarity that direct communication would bring. There is a certain amount of responsibility on their part as far as leading me to these realizations, and then leaving me blocked from further progress to drown in my regrets and uncertainties

. ....

I am not quite sure what you are getting at, but thanks for your perspective. My shadow is definitely involved, but I see no resolution to this situation as it stands. My present circumstances are quite unacceptable. I really have nothing to live for right now. My life is a waking nightmare.My heart is broken and heavy with regret.

I know that my mistake in the past has cost me more than I could ever imagine. Ever since that point, I have been living a lie, and been led towards what seems to be a dead end, when things would have been so much simpler and led to unobstructed contact and fulfillment had I not been so stupid in 2015. Now this all seems broken beyond repair.

I have no idea what the future will bring, but based on what I see as the current trajectory both on a global scale and in my personal life, it is beyond difficult for me to picture a positive outcome.

Last edited by Crystal Dragon (2022-01-02 22:52:36)


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#8 2022-01-03 00:12:51

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

This is such a beautiful story that I had to read your thread 3x.
Thank you for the courage for sharing your story and it’s great that you let everything out from your chest and not keeping it to yourself.
What really makes you happy?
Let your guide fill you in and lead you and shine through you.
I am just a ordinary person and have not much advice to tell you but I wanted to say that I’ll keep you in my prayers and hoping you continue yourself to stay strong. The Universe is kind and I’m sure help or therapy is available. Sorry I don’t mean to intrude. Encouragement is the reason why some of us are here in this forum for sure.
You take care and don’t lose hope.


Love, Peace & Unity.

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#9 2022-01-03 00:50:34

pete
Member

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Hi Crystal Dragon,

Crystal Dragon wrote:

I am losing sleep over this, I cannot meditate properly, and I am manically depressed and irritable throughout the day. I feel that my present and future are completely lost and there is no point in going on. The wall that I have hit in terms of further contact gives both a sense of regret and unforgiveness of self, and a feeling of betrayal and abandonment from Alenym and the Taygetans. I have thought often lately of ending my life, but cannot bring myself to actually do it. I have talked to a few people in private about this. While I value their support and encouragement, it has not been enough to get me out this dark night of the soul.

I do hope you hang around here for a lot longer. I have always appreciated your posts and feel you still have so many things to discover and hopefully share some of them with us.

As for your story, I cannot really help you or give any meaninigful advice, but I can share an observation perhaps - to me the whole thing is basically saying that you have a strong connection to the Taygetans. And that's great, because that means you already found your family. Of course, the other side of the coin is that family life often tends to get messy. And that's really hard, but it's also just thow things are. Often times you just have to hang in there, live through it, hopefully grow through it, and soon move on because life in any dimension never waits and there are always more things to deal with (and of course, more mess smile)

You also mention:

Crystal Dragon wrote:

At present, there is nothing in this life that really gives me much fulfillment, and with the clarity of being off weed, the pain of the regret of my decision in 2015 cuts like a knife. I fear I have ruined my entire life and future, because now that I finally put it all together, I have hit a wall in terms of further contact. I have not mastered the ability to control my lucid dreams and astral state at will

I have also been trying to master these skills for a long time, but still reallly suck at it. Judging by your posts though, I feel like you have a lot more potential to master these skills than me, so I'd like to encourage yout to keep at it (and then maybe give me some tips later on when you make it smile Seriously though, I suppose I see those skills as valuable because it would allow knowing things for oneself, connecting with whoever one wants to connect without requiring a third party in between, as well as finding purpose, meaning, understanding, wisdom, etc, all of which tends to help putting things into perspective and perhaps offering some sense of peace, eventually.

Anyway, you keeping at it despite everything is definitely an encouragment for me to keep at it, so, big thanks from me and hang in there!

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#10 2022-01-03 01:48:11

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Thanks for the support everyone. This is not so simple as “moving on”. The past will always haunt me until the situation is either rectified with another chance at direct contact, or this incarnation has ended. There is just no accepting it, as there is nothing worth living for to take the place of the fulfillment that that contact could bring.

A separation of such magnitude is painful enough, even when living life unaware of it. Being made aware of the nature of the connection, and of a missed chance at it and a bunch of breadcrumbs leading up to a dead end? Well, that is just psychological and emotional torment beyond words to describe. It is literally unlivable.

I thank all of you for your support. I’m not sure if it is still some hope for the future, or lack of courage to terminate this incarnation that keeps me going, but I’ll be around for better or worse, at least for a while.

Last edited by Crystal Dragon (2022-01-03 02:14:10)


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#11 2022-01-03 02:50:42

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Crystal Dragon wrote:

Thanks for the support everyone. This is not so simple as “moving on”. The past will always haunt me until the situation is either rectified with another chance at direct contact, or this incarnation has ended. There is just no accepting it, as there is nothing worth living for to take the place of the fulfillment that that contact could bring.

A separation of such magnitude is painful enough, even when living life unaware of it. Being made aware of the nature of the connection, and of a missed chance at it and a bunch of breadcrumbs leading up to a dead end? Well, that is just psychological and emotional torment beyond words to describe. It is literally unlivable.

I thank all of you for your support. I’m not sure if it is still some hope for the future, or lack of courage to terminate this incarnation that keeps me going, but I’ll be around for better or worse, at least for a while.


I will reach out to you separately about this.  I have gone through for a long time the very same feelings you are going through right now CD.  I know the pain you have and it cannot be buried or ignored.

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#12 2022-01-03 03:06:52

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

NekronianAmbassador wrote:
Crystal Dragon wrote:

Thanks for the support everyone. This is not so simple as “moving on”. The past will always haunt me until the situation is either rectified with another chance at direct contact, or this incarnation has ended. There is just no accepting it, as there is nothing worth living for to take the place of the fulfillment that that contact could bring.

A separation of such magnitude is painful enough, even when living life unaware of it. Being made aware of the nature of the connection, and of a missed chance at it and a bunch of breadcrumbs leading up to a dead end? Well, that is just psychological and emotional torment beyond words to describe. It is literally unlivable.

I thank all of you for your support. I’m not sure if it is still some hope for the future, or lack of courage to terminate this incarnation that keeps me going, but I’ll be around for better or worse, at least for a while.


I will reach out to you separately about this.  I have gone through for a long time the very same feelings you are going through right now CD.  I know the pain you have and it cannot be buried or ignored.

Thanks, friend. I value your perspective and appreciate you reaching out.


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#13 2022-01-03 06:27:47

Apteryx
Member

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

I can relate to your pain on some level.
I myself had a complicated timeline, which did lead to a breakdown in 2019 and 2020.
I am not fully sure if my words will be of any help, but I do know the sensation of over-activation of indigo ray. I realised that this type of work, specifically within this environment of earth is very much painful and distressing to the point of pushing the mind to the sensation that there is no return from the mistakes that were made.
First of all, it may feel paradoxical but quitting weed is a great step to realignment. Despite it being a strong catalyst to push your neurons, the environment on earth just makes it so that you don't end up well after smoking long term. (Astrally it creates parasitic loops).

I myself have similar sensations due to the lack of heart ray / green ray exchanges here which are critical to opening gateways of intelligence.
I picked up the habit of cuddling my pillow since the age of 11 while sleeping. It is actually a meditative state where I allow my heart to open and feel the spirit pouring in. I cannot think of any other way I could have survived that many years. I simply cannot see any potential partner within the matrix who could be of compatible frequencies.
The way I healed after my last break down (I was trying to manifest disincartion) was through Xanax and Soliant (or amisulpride) in low doses, I am against medication but these two in low doses did help me relax to the point of being able to realign, there simply was no other way. It is my personal experience, my escape from a sensation of "no issues left/no return point". Once healed I quit them cold turkey. Very happy, no side effects that I could notice appart from me being less worried / manifesting pain.

Also friend, quitting cannabis is harder than you think, I have D.I.D and was abusing Opiates and Stimulants and Enthogenics for many years, out of them all, weed was the most leeching/addictive.

My advice would be to retreat In a very natural environment. To remove the chemical catalysts that keep in you in the state of "despair" even though paradoxically they may feel like they are the ones that can "get you out of there".

If you need to talk, for anything, may it be shadow work, expressing emotions, letting go of the regrets and/or fears. I am 10000% willing to talk to you as a gentleman friend.
I myself have been talking to a few friends for the past year to express my shadow, even though they are extremely confused about it all. Maybe it's just the need to share.

My personal journey from a point of blockages within the 7 rays of consciousness, which was healed through shadow work and visualisation (as a clue to what you could work with)
Orange : Overload/internalisation of emotions, inability to express self, inability to accept self.
Yellow : Desire of possession or being possessed (talking about other self) due to rejection from societal environment.
Green : Loneliness, no one to accept/return your love.
Blue : Inability to express thoughts and sensations because no one in the matrix would understand.
Indigo : Alienation and unworthiness

Once your alignment is clear, once your frequency is stably high, the doors will open themselves.
The doorways open once the self is ready.

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#14 2022-01-03 06:45:55

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Apteryx wrote:

I can relate to your pain on some level.
I myself had a complicated timeline, which did lead to a breakdown in 2019 and 2020.
I am not fully sure if my words will be of any help, but I do know the sensation of over-activation of indigo ray. I realised that this type of work, specifically within this environment of earth is very much painful and distressing to the point of pushing the mind to the sensation that there is no return from the mistakes that were made.
First of all, it may feel paradoxical but quitting weed is a great step to realignment. Despite it being a strong catalyst to push your neurons, the environment on earth just makes it so that you don't end up well after smoking long term. (Astrally it creates parasitic loops).

I myself have similar sensations due to the lack of heart ray / green ray exchanges here which are critical to opening gateways of intelligence.
I picked up the habit of cuddling my pillow since the age of 11 while sleeping. It is actually a meditative state where I allow my heart to open and feel the spirit pouring in. I cannot think of any other way I could have survived that many years. I simply cannot see any potential partner within the matrix who could be of compatible frequencies.
The way I healed after my last break down (I was trying to manifest disincartion) was through Xanax and Soliant (or amisulpride) in low doses, I am against medication but these two in low doses did help me relax to the point of being able to realign, there simply was no other way. It is my personal experience, my escape from a sensation of "no issues left/no return point". Once healed I quit them cold turkey. Very happy, no side effects that I could notice appart from me being less worried / manifesting pain.

Also friend, quitting cannabis is harder than you think, I have D.I.D and was abusing Opiates and Stimulants and Enthogenics for many years, out of them all, weed was the most leeching/addictive.

My advice would be to retreat In a very natural environment. To remove the chemical catalysts that keep in you in the state of "despair" even though paradoxically they may feel like they are the ones that can "get you out of there".

If you need to talk, for anything, may it be shadow work, expressing emotions, letting go of the regrets and/or fears. I am 10000% willing to talk to you as a gentleman friend.
I myself have been talking to a few friends for the past year to express my shadow, even though they are extremely confused about it all. Maybe it's just the need to share.

My personal journey from a point of blockages within the 7 rays of consciousness, which was healed through shadow work and visualisation (as a clue to what you could work with)
Orange : Overload/internalisation of emotions, inability to express self, inability to accept self.
Yellow : Desire of possession or being possessed (talking about other self) due to rejection from societal environment.
Green : Loneliness, no one to accept/return your love.
Blue : Inability to express thoughts and sensations because no one in the matrix would understand.
Indigo : Alienation and unworthiness

Once your alignment is clear, once your frequency is stably high, the doors will open themselves.
The doorways open once the self is ready.

Thanks for your perspective, I appreciate your input. The thing is, there is simply no amount of shadow work that is going to make me want to live a life without what I missed that opportunity for. I will stick around as long as I can stand it to see if things can change or be rectified, perhaps even long enough to close out some other karmic cycles that bind me to this hellhole planet. Will that be two or less, five, ten years? I'm not sure. Much of this is largely out of my control.


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#15 2022-01-03 08:08:43

DarkOwl
Moderator

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

I just wanted to point out that Alenym is Taygetan royalty and (IMO) her name should be prefixed with HRH (ie. HRH Alenym).

I think that's respectful given her station.

..............

I'm with you Crystal Dragon (as you know) in your quest to resolve your obviously intense inner turmoil.

One thing I haven't asked you is, what is your definition of 'soul mate'? Someone who is a member of a soul group? A twin flame?
Because obviously the latter raises the stakes. Does her HRH have a current partner? How would he feel about this and where does he fit into all this in your mind?

As I said in my email to you, it would be remiss of me to not ask these kinds of questions. I echo the warmth that others have expressed towards you in this thread and only want to see you come to a peace of mind.

If I prod a little, it's only 'cos I care!
xo


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#16 2022-01-03 09:10:49

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

DarkOwl wrote:

I just wanted to point out that Alenym is Taygetan royalty and (IMO) her name should be prefixed with HRH (ie. HRH Alenym).

I think that's respectful given her station.

..............

I'm with you Crystal Dragon (as you know) in your quest to resolve your obviously intense inner turmoil.

One thing I haven't asked you is, what is your definition of 'soul mate'? Someone who is a member of a soul group? A twin flame?
Because obviously the latter raises the stakes. Does her HRH have a current partner? How would he feel about this and where does he fit into all this in your mind?

As I said in my email to you, it would be remiss of me to not ask these kinds of questions. I echo the warmth that others have expressed towards you in this thread and only want to see you come to a peace of mind.

If I prod a little, it's only 'cos I care!
xo

HRH Alenym is directly what would be called my "twin flame". As for another partner, it is quite possible, perhaps even probable, but then why even make me aware of her presence with these little telepathic breadcrumbs, some of them as recent as 2021? You see the effect this is having on me. Either she wishes this connection and at some point contact, or not. If not, then making me aware of the connection is an irresponsible and heartless act, unbefitting Tayget royalty, or anyone with a functioning heart chakra for that matter. I am not some expendable piece of shit to be toyed with and then left broken to rot. Now, it is too early to make that judgment call that that is what's happening, but the lack of further contact is not good grounds for trust on my end. I may be an imperfect person, but I am worthy of being treated well and my feelings respected.

Last edited by Crystal Dragon (2022-01-03 09:28:44)


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#17 2022-01-03 09:12:16

07wideeyes
Member

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Hi Crystal Dragon. I went to bed yesterday resolved to reply in some way to your post; I got up this morning to find that the forum has been busy! So just a few notes, really.

When I first read what you had to say, I sensed that it was the best thing, to put your story out to a (carefully chosen) wider audience. Like many others here, I appreciate your presence on this forum, and it is sad to feel you in such turmoil. You had hinted at it recently, but nowhere near the entire chapter.

One thing to remember is that, if you are soul mate with HRH Alenym, then you must be a pretty 'special' kind of soul. I mean the soul that is HRH Alenym isn't going to get connected with any old consciousness! This being the case, you can have a certain confidence in your inner beauty and integrity, which you seem to have rather lost sight of. Connection with Taygetan royalty also brings with it a certain responsibility, I feel. There is a responsibility to do the best to lead a wise and compassionate life, maybe, right now.

I feel that there may be more to your situation than you seem to realise or to communicate. You do seem a bit stuck in a linear 'this life is everything' perspective, while connections with other souls are issues that in reality span many many lifetimes. Or, as discussed in the video on soul mates, are gateways into the realms beyond time and space altogether. So what has happened over the past few years, while seeming so vitally important, may actually just be a drop in the ocean. While I can't really have any idea what goes on in the mind of HRH Alenym, she will be only too aware of the many pitfalls of contact between Taygetans and humans, for both sides of the contact. If she tried unsuccessfully to instigate communication fairly recently, she may just shrug her shoulders, say 'That's life, things happen' and leave it for another time. Unknown.

I resonate with what Happy and Charliebelle put out there, in that there is more to it than you seem to be experiencing at present, Crystal Dragon. Your protestations that no amount of shadow work will help etc don't completely ring true. I don't know you well enough to have a particular viewpoint on it, but sometimes people can make such statements as a way of avoiding going deeper into difficult issues. People can 'be stuck' because they (unconsciously) prefer to stay stuck.

Whatever, I send great wishes of resolution your way. You have much support and good feeling on this forum. All best wishes.

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#18 2022-01-03 09:22:57

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

I do not wish to lead a life of separation and lack of contact with my soul mate/twin flame, not for any reason, especially having missed the chance and the regret of that weighing on me. I am giving it some time for things to change, but if things remain the same by the end of this year, it is highly likely that I will be in real danger of deciding to terminate this incarnation. This is not a game, as UFOP degenerates treat it as. My heart and soul are wounded from this experience, and I only wish for it to be made right.

Last edited by Crystal Dragon (2022-01-03 09:37:33)


righteously indignant

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#19 2022-01-03 12:23:12

Happy
Moderator

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

The following are a lot of speculations on my part, but they could perhaps add some nuance into the perspectives presented in this thread.

Some years back, the Taygetans were engaged in a massive project called "First Contact" as described several times in Gosia's videos. One of the goals in this was to promote disclosure directly to the general population, and in that - bypassing any cabal influence in it. A lot of contacts were initiated, but most of the people down here rejected it, or remained anonymous or even unknowing - so the project was terminated. Of all those contacted, it is likely that we find a significant proportion among the members in this forum among them.

Now - consider all the known methods for contact down here on the surface:


  • We have all the variations of channeling;

  • we have telepathy;

  • we have both benevolent and malevolent physical presence in 'visitations' and 'abductions';

  • we have all sorts of displays of light-ships and entities;

  • we have the many methods of 'divination';

  • we have the internet;

  • there is contact in vivid dreams;

  • astral travels;

  • remote viewing;

  • ...and a lot more, I'm sure...


I bet that one of the major objectives in "First Contact" was to find some way or another that could trigger a self-propagating movement of disclosure - the key-word being "self-propagating" - and that no methods of contact described above were dismissed at the onset in this. So then, how to get the attention of humans on Earth? well, how do we like to describe ourselves in this context? Get this: Most of us here resonate with being deeply emotional in nature. - which is a Lyrian characteristic, and perhaps the major argument for open contact with our Taygetan relatives. - which is denied us by the GFOP regulations, with a near criminal intent according to our natural and organic sense of justice. And this nature of ours is very available in all sorts of communications here.

[Edit: In addition to this - the Taygetans are heavily scrutinized and even sabotaged by the GFOP-grip upon our planet. We have no means to assess to which degree any Taygetan contact is limited for those reasons, and I suspect this may also be a valid aspect in Crystal Dragon's experiences.]

The Taygetan civilization has been without a royal head for many years, we've been told, but recently HRH Alenym was instated as this. Now, royalty in Taygeta is not what we understand as royalty here on Earth. In Taygeta, royalties are exactly that because they are the optimal representation of everything Taygetan, which is a 'frequency characteristic'; a Taygetan royal embraces the entirety of the Taygetan Soul. And we're talking about a deep holographic understanding here: "I see you in me - and all of us". Crystal Dragon... I choose to put your story and encounters in this perspective. I am sure that the love you have experienced in this, is found in the depths of the Taygetan heart. By being embraced by HRH Alenym, you have been touched by the entirety of Taygetan civilization. ...because this is who HRH Alenym is.

You incarnated here because you were compatible with this experience - because your presence here makes a difference. And we are so grateful to have you among us. smile


Discuss the message, not the messenger.

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#20 2022-01-03 13:47:40

Bigfeet_E
Member

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Wishes can not always be granted if the timing isn't ripe for it.
Love, in it's broad understanding, isn't always holding on but also the acceptance of letting go.
The trigger you have experienced is the very catalyst that you probably needed to face your inner turmoil awakened.
Forgiveness in the true and full sense requires you to give it to all parties, including yourself.
The attachments you place on these emotions are the very chackles you've placed on yourself, my friend.
Bob Marley would sing: "Lively up yourself & don't be no drag". No herbsman from our generation never heard these lyrics wink
So i'm kinda with 07Wideeyes in his assessment of a certain stubbornness involved.
The Buddha's great achievement  was finding the key of forgiving your Self.
To finalise i'd like you to give some words on the matter from Zingdad :

1. How twin flames are made   
2. Entwined Flames 
3. Why do we do this to ourselves

Much love!

Last edited by Bigfeet_E (2022-01-03 13:58:49)

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#21 2022-01-03 13:56:17

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

I'll tell you a secret, albeit a vague one. I know who I am. I've known for a long time. It doesn't make life on Earth easier. I constantly feel like it should be easier, but it just isn't. I still have about a million questions that won't be answered in this life. I don't feel connected to this place or really to anyone around me. Still, I hang in there and keep going because it's what I do. It's the mission.

Even if there is no other reason for you being here, Crystal Dragon, you are an antenna. And that is a noble function. That is what we fundamentally are as humans. Antennae. I know you know that, however you may see things yourself. I can see very clearly that you burn bright even when you're down. We need antennae like you. We can't do it alone, none of us can. Please hang in there smile


The road appears when you need it.

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#22 2022-01-03 14:30:33

Gosia
Administrator

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Alenym has a partner yes and very much in love. smile

DarkOwl wrote:

I just wanted to point out that Alenym is Taygetan royalty and (IMO) her name should be prefixed with HRH (ie. HRH Alenym).

I think that's respectful given her station.

..............

I'm with you Crystal Dragon (as you know) in your quest to resolve your obviously intense inner turmoil.

One thing I haven't asked you is, what is your definition of 'soul mate'? Someone who is a member of a soul group? A twin flame?
Because obviously the latter raises the stakes. Does her HRH have a current partner? How would he feel about this and where does he fit into all this in your mind?

As I said in my email to you, it would be remiss of me to not ask these kinds of questions. I echo the warmth that others have expressed towards you in this thread and only want to see you come to a peace of mind.

If I prod a little, it's only 'cos I care!
xo

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#23 2022-01-03 15:04:29

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Crystal Dragon - You are in a unique position to help the team up above and down here spread their message. Knowing that the choices you made bring you pain today you should focus on editing them to make your present life more acceptable. This won't erase the choices completely but it will make you more at ease with them.

Really enjoy your posts and your contributions to the forum and insight and would hate to see you recoil in anger at a decision. That would hinder your future development. Any action you have chosen, or regret, can be forgiven but it must come from within the heart and through the mind.

Interconnected Souls can be apart for millions of years, or dozens of incarnations across timelines and galaxies but this expanded and larger knowledge should give you comfort albeit painful now. Focus not on what was lost or mismanaged but how you can move forward to share this wonder on Earth while we have time.

My heart goes out to you and wishing you peace, joy and love in the year and years to come!

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#24 2022-01-03 16:09:04

gobuta
Member

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

You have come here for a reason @Crystal Dragon. If you wanted to be in the embrace of your loved one you wouldn't be here since it is physically impossible for her to be present on Earth (for reasons we all know).

As to why she reached out to you - I have no idea. Perhaps she need to convey particular information, perhaps she felt she needed/wanted to have some sort of communication or perhaps this was for scientific purposes (to which you may have also agreed beforehand) that could help the Taygetans understand how your memories and consciousness are affected on Earth. Or perhaps it was simply a wake up call (perhaps also prearranged) for you to remember what you are here to do.

In any case you have not come here to be with her - this much should be obvious.

Don't be a fatalist - you are Source and you are already everyone and connected to everyone (for eternity :-) ). On a particular level of consciousness you "feel" more connected to particular other consciousness(es) (twin flame, soul mate, soul group, etc.).

Earth is an amazing place - it may be seen as a hellhole, but it was created so that a great lesson can be learn here - a lesson for Source itself (meaning the entirety of consciousness).

Nothing is without a reason and everything that may seems chaotic is in perfect order. There is a reason why the positive Angelic races/consciousnesses (6D and above) have only limited intervention on Earth. There is a reason why the regressives act the way they do and have such an incredible influence here. The entire galaxy and perhaps much more has fallen and there is such a great multi-density conflict across the multi-universe. Creation is not perfect nor is it complete (from a particular perspective; from another perspective it is perfect :-) ) and it will never be. Source is learning continuously through the experiences of each consciousness (on every level from an atom to a galaxy to Source consciousness itself) and this is very much a reason for the existence of so many diverse (if unpleasant and challenging) experiences (and Source's desire to explore itself).

What Source has learned on Earth via this multi-density, multi-universal conflict has changed its perspective on the entire creation. You can say it (Source) has grown up :-)


@Crystal Dragon So don't think even for a moment that you being here is without a reason or an effect!


Thank you for your valuable insights and perspective @07wideeyes, @Happy, @Bigfeet_E, @crystallinemister, @Temporal_Agency

Last edited by gobuta (2022-01-03 16:30:49)

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#25 2022-01-03 19:44:02

Re: Full Disclosure: This is my story and my dilemma…

Gosia wrote:

Alenym has a partner yes and very much in love. smile

DarkOwl wrote:

I just wanted to point out that Alenym is Taygetan royalty and (IMO) her name should be prefixed with HRH (ie. HRH Alenym).

I think that's respectful given her station.

..............

I'm with you Crystal Dragon (as you know) in your quest to resolve your obviously intense inner turmoil.

One thing I haven't asked you is, what is your definition of 'soul mate'? Someone who is a member of a soul group? A twin flame?
Because obviously the latter raises the stakes. Does her HRH have a current partner? How would he feel about this and where does he fit into all this in your mind?

As I said in my email to you, it would be remiss of me to not ask these kinds of questions. I echo the warmth that others have expressed towards you in this thread and only want to see you come to a peace of mind.

If I prod a little, it's only 'cos I care!
xo

Then I should never have been made aware of her presence and connection at all. Such was irresponsible and manipulative, and created great suffering for me. I am done being treated this way. I wish I could push this soul connection aside and give it to or build an equal one someone who actually deserves it.

Last edited by Crystal Dragon (2022-01-03 20:37:20)


righteously indignant

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