Taygetan and "Swaruunian" Team Forum

PinkChopper

Member

IDK what to call this; Venting perhaps; Questions included

Awhile back I was outside and had an extremely comforting feeling come over me in which I began to “feel” like I was me!  I had a sense of joy and happiness come over me creating a wonderful remembrance of me in which I was able to sing and create song after song and I was happily doing so with the birds and more when suddenly, planes, 2 of them came over head and sprayed me with whatever they use (and yes, it 100% WAS a direct attack sorta thing) which then put me out for 3 days with a migraine and I've never felt that way since but I'll also never forget it!  I could like breath and even had a tiny, tiny remembrance of a feeling like “home.”   

On a more recent occasion, I was gifted with help from the Universe in which I had a wonderful encounter with a “person” (which meant a LOT to me by the way so THANK YOU!!!!)  But the thing about it is this:  I recognized the spin of the molecules is what I call it because yes, it was a molecular spin in the energy field which was another hint of familiarity ~ “Home” ~ me.  (side note: I felt my body react to the energy field before I even turned around yet once I did I was in such shock perhaps simply due to the confusion as to what occurred since I did have a remembrance of that field for one but I also psychically saw what I call a black dart spin within this field as well)

I have NOT been myself in close to 5-6 years now and I really truly don't comprehend what has happened but something has my mind like rewired in a way that forces me to “think” in 100% opposite of the normal way I would exist and it has taken it's tole!  I am normally the most positive, outgoing, filled with joy and life to express for all however, that is NOT what has become of me these past years and of course I have fought it but this has been devastating and had horrible effects on not only my psyche, but my soul as well .  As a matter of fact, I feel as if part of my soul was STOLEN and I have no way to comprehend these things or understand what is happening.  I believe a “good” moment is one in which I am not crying!   I mean that LITERALLY!! 

How are we supposed to continue like this?  I know you are helping me and my fear is that you will  leave or stop helping ~ abandonment I suppose yet how are we to function when I truly feel in my heart that I am in the wrong environment?  What am I to make of the feelings and complete attitude adjustment that came over me during those 2 examples listed above?  I mean just the encounter brought me back to somewhat of functionality although short lived due to the negative environment I'm still surrounded in, frequency mismatch like times a thousand and absolutely not something I can comprehend as to WHY this is happening?

Thankyou so very much for your help. Seriously, I may “know” on one level “who” I am but on another level, I've not been able to “accept” it yet or integrate it due to dis-belief. Of course oddly enough, prior to those 5-6 years, I probably was more capable of putting this altogether and I don't comprehend how its possible to become another person, only one that is far worse off that what they were before.  Seems to me GROWTH should occur.  How do I fight something that I don't understand? 

Last, I don't see manifestation working here, at all.  What I mean is this: WE ARE SOURCE.  I get that.. But if our “thoughts” are what create, then WHY are we cutoff, unable to create via thought? What I mean is if we are practicing our return to source, “do what makes you happy” practicing to NOT create nightmares, then how are we to do so if absolutely everything attempted in thought (which is what creates our afterlife) if all our thoughts become nothing leading to more and more despair (because that is what's happening with me) then where is the lesson leading to positive outcomes?  Yes, my thoughts are perhaps out of the range of perception for pretty much everyone however, it IS doable.  Am I to physically create only?  I'm sorry because I'm just confused because I literally thought that the “universe” didn't need us to physically Do anything so once again, I'm like what the heck is happening here. Where am I?  (which is another topic I'll spare because quite literally, I have no clue where I am at, in “time” or not since it's my remembrance that we have ALL already done this EXACT LIFE at least once before and I don't know if you on the “other side “ realize this, even though I know you do, but on this side, I am just SO VERY TIRED and so sick of this same old boring story line that has run on and on and on and on for EONS!!! Do we EVER get to NOT have to do this anymore?

Hope that make sense and once again, Thankyou for the help I know is there and for letting me vent in this forum.

Signed:
The Creator
~Gina~

mitkobs

Member

Re: IDK what to call this; Venting perhaps; Questions included

Thinking something particular definitely is changing the personal reality. But that is valid also for the negative thinking and negative thinking manifest faster in this reality. And not only thinking is manifesting, also emotions, hardcore beliefs and ideas and the subconscious and unconscious that we are. And as souls we are born here with something particular that is more important to happen to us than other things. A destiny if you like. If we do not fulfil the soul mission, soul will continue to direct us there in every way possible It can. And if we want something as a temporal limited 3D personality that is not part of our mission or destiny no matter how we think and do things they will go other way. Soul/Source want to keep us on our way, not to stray away or cause other experiences that are not needed.

Last edited by mitkobs (2023-04-12 18:57:59)