Taygetan and "Swaruunian" Team Forum

PinkChopper

Member

Manifesting a life of WHAT WE ARE NOT

I'm quite confused but expect to be I suppose due to this entire incarnation turning out to be NOT AT ALL WHAT I THOUGHT FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE as to “how” this works etc.  Now I'm 50 years old and am waking up as “opposite Me” and no desire to be here as I'm literally forced to reside in an avatar that is 100% opposite of the true me that I know inhabits it!  What I mean is in the saying “We manifest what we are” ~ I just am curious if some of us came here , manifesting everything WE ARE NOT but on purpose?  I ask because ALL of the nightmares I've endured (and trust me....most would NEVER have made it this far and still be alive!) but I've ALWAYS known the actions I'd take were NOT ME although I performed the moves to get me here.  There's always been a knowing that it was ALL “not real” so to speak.  Now, I'm suppose to learn that the “who” I am inside …..the one running the show in the background of my psyche ….that person was wrong? 

I can't express enough how messed up this is because I've TRUSTED myself...that whoever in the background this whole “time” and now I'm like devastated!  I don't even truly feel “here” like I'm “here” (wherever here is) It's like I'm a bobble head just walking around in a trance and I have ZERO in common with ANYONE making my existence one of just that.....existence....confusion, opposite version “me”, no friends, No care or desire to be here and extremely....EXTREMELY exhausted!!!! This is NOT NORMAL!  This is NOT ME!  So yes, “then change it” ~ I have nothing to change!  I'm already perfect!  The “me” on the inside ~ The one forced to endure this nightmare.  It's hasn't changed my frequency or remembrance of WHO I AM ~ YES OPPOSITE “GINA” so I'm gonna have to just throw my 2 cents in regarding us manifesting what we are and simply say that I'm truly confused due to the nature of me being who I am which is quite literally 100% opposite of the avatar I'm forced to be for now yet I've always known that so am I being mind controlled to think incorrectly for this whole round once again?

Another thing, I have a hard time comprehending what we're even doing because, like I said before, I feel like we ALL already have done this and I don't comprehend WHY we're forced to stay in “time” in a so called “game” that's on a loop when we are simply DONE! Now what, am I to think I've gotta start all over yet again ?  That's not the way I understood it from before.  Do we go Home like back where we came from.....EVER? Or is THIS just opposite version Gina remain to be the only thing I live from now on?  I just don't comprehend things properly you guys and am finding this TOO EXTREME FOR GOD HIM/HERSELF to be stuck in as such a harsh, harsh environment when “God” would NEVER FORCE ITSELF TO REMAIN IN SUCH A CONDITION IF IT WANTED OUT SO WHO HAS US HERE? Perhaps it's forcing us to be stuck in a body WHICH IS NOT NORMAL OR NATURAL yet I can't seem to astral travel and remember anything so yes,call it my manifestation of me all you want but I personally KNOW BETTER and KNOW THE TRUE ME INSIDE! 

I'm just devastated that something like this would be allowed to occur to be honest with you.  I'd say I'll just do as usual and trust there's a “higher plan” but that means trusting the me on the inside, yet should I even do that?! And like I've said before, to the question of “what do you want” ~ I WANT TO GO HOME!  I WANT OUT OF THIS EXTREME DUALITY OF WHICH I HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON!  The environment is FAR TOO HARSH to existence in, much less manifest anything but I don't WANT anything!  I don't WANT physicality such as this so why do I want to manifest in opposite world where we can't even hardly breath?!  Come on people.  And for the record....once again, these words represent the thoughts flowing in my head but not the soul ~ the true me inside so think about these type of communications as negative if you want to but personally, I just think somewhere along the lines, I perhaps have lived in a more conducive type of atmosphere where you don't have to work so hard just to figure out WHY you are there and life is that ~ LIFE.....not EXISTING so I believe my soul is the one remembering that making it just too much for one to handle which is why I'm seeking answers once more because this just isn't normal!