Seeking the proper perception b/c SOMETHING IS WRONG!

PinkChopper · 2023-01-31 01:14:47

I don't know what is going on so I've decided to just express my thoughts as of this particular “time” in the journey which is this: SOMETHING IS WRONG!

Close to 2017-2018ish, I'm thinking a walking happened or at least I suppose but I've never been the same since. I feel as if the “Soul” behind the “avatar” has been almost forced to experience a life that is 100% opposite of the REAL person, the TRUE Soul I am. Now I promise you, I can understand How some of this mess came to be, but I just don't comprehend Why.

I always believed our “higher self” was in charge and trusted there was a purpose for all I've endured and trust me! I've had FAR TOO MUCH FOR ONE HALF OF A HUMAN LIFETIME! (Some of you know exactly what I'm referring to) yet now, after this “something” which happened, I can't even tell you how much worse I've become! I feel something is wrong but I'm still on that trusting my higher self thing however, this doesn't seem right. Honestly, I'm not sure WHAT is “real” at this point or how to gain clarity regarding what is going on. Are we literally on a planet or just a game (in our head) where everything is created by our own self and if we are creating our own world, HOW IS IT POSSIBLE MINE IS 100% OPPOSITE!

I realize “mind control” is the name of the game as we each create what we believe yada yada, but I'm concerned about this connection problem perhaps is what's going on? Do y’all, meaning those of you in the “other realm” already KNOW when we are not well in a sorta mental thus physical way? I'm attempting to make sense of this “walk in” or whatever is going on situation along with the fact that I am Opposite Me yet combined with Memory I believe myself to have (which doesn't help) making it difficult to NOT “think” I'm already aware somewhat as to what is going on although I realize I don't know anything . Then there's the Incredible, Debilitating amount of pure lack of energy to amount to anything! Energetically Challenged is what I call it but I mean EXTREME lack of energy that is NOT NORMAL!!!.

I feel there is more to my story – Those meant to see this will, I KNOW THERE IS MORE TO THIS STORY. I just can't seem to click as to What. So forgive me in that way. Eventually I will catch on.

The reason for this is simply to state my thoughts I suppose because honestly, I didn't “think” it was necessary to physically express this info since I sorta thought our life was already planned, and everyone ALREADY KNOWS each other. All of us! So I'm confused as to what timeline I'm on or how “this matrix” works. Meaning, does “physical expression regarding our situation” have to happen or do you already “KNOW” this information? I hope this makes sense. I do believe you already know my thoughts and it's not necessary to have to mention this stuff. Perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe y’all do need it expressed so there we go.

And while I'm here, I Do Not Consent! I'm not sure WHAT happened but SOMETHING DID and this has just gone way too far!

I'm seeking the proper perception I suppose because thus far, and this ENTIRE EXISTENCE, if asked “What do you want?” I simply desire to return to what is for me “Home” but I also get concerned because perhaps I'm not comprehending things correctly.

This debilitating energetic hold gives no mercy for me to gain or collect myself enough to breath, much less catch my snap where I'm not feeling the EXTREME WEIGHT or simply put, no energy to hardly move! EVER! My body does not, no longer.... Does NOT feel that heart love or ANY emotions normally anymore. It's like I am in the background while the “avatar” may attempt to display say for example Joy however, that JOY FEELING never appears, regardless if the expression is made. THAT'S NOT NORMAL! I've trusted this entire lifetime but please don't tell me I've done wrong. I'm not the same and it is more than extremely difficult so please I would like to know, do our “people” KNOW what we go through on a day by day basis? I'm feeling as if I am being held “hostage” inside of my own body however, pushed away from my body if that makes sense and I do not consent!!!! I never ever ever would have believed that a person would be left in the condition as I've endured for this long a time without some form of positive interference. My feelings are quite hurt regarding that.

I sure don't want to leave an impression as if the “real me” is ANYTHING like the “avatar” as it has lived this life thus far. I am coming out of some fog with the realization that I've somehow turned into 100% OPPOSITE of the real “me” ~ as if everything I would normally had made for a choice was created backward or “yes” made into “no” for ALL choices. And yes, I can “become” the “normal me” once more but right this moment, SOMETHING ELSE IS WRONG so I'm just reporting the info I suppose because I'm lost regarding the “rules” for where ever I'm at and not sure what to think or believe for pretty much anything anymore.

Thank You and I do LOVE you all!

~Gina~

Celestial Marriage · 2023-01-31 02:35:33

Okay, I have some questions

1) Are you feeling that you are living through someone else' s karma?
2) Do you feel you are not in control of your own life?
3) Is it impossible for you to feel happiness, because you aren't doing your soul' s contract mission on Earth, but something else?
4) Are you feeling drained? Have you checked yourself for lower astral being infestations on your chakras?
5) Have you sought help? Healers, energy workers, hypnosis etc?

What I can say is that there are countless defenses of matrix put into places to hinder spiritual growth. Also - there are myriad of things that reptiles and greys have tried to put into our energetic bodies to leech any kind of creative/ vital energy of us.

As of now it seems that you realize that you are being sucked dry and you want to end it. However, matrix medicine would prescribe you vitamins... You have to find a person who sees your aura, chakras, vital body, emotional body etc.

PinkChopper · 2023-01-31 04:19:18

Celestial Marriage wrote:

Okay, I have some questions
1) Are you feeling that you are living through someone else' s karma?
2) Do you feel you are not in control of your own life?
3) Is it impossible for you to feel happiness, because you aren't doing your soul' s contract mission on Earth, but something else?
4) Are you feeling drained? Have you checked yourself for lower astral being infestations on your chakras?
5) Have you sought help? Healers, energy workers, hypnosis etc?

What I can say is that there are countless defenses of matrix put into places to hinder spiritual growth. Also - there are myriad of things that reptiles and greys have tried to put into our energetic bodies to leech any kind of creative/ vital energy of us.
As of now it seems that you realize that you are being sucked dry and you want to end it. However, matrix medicine would prescribe you vitamins... You have to find a person who sees your aura, chakras, vital body, emotional body etc.

Dang. You're good. HA! I suppose that's exactly what I'm telling you. ~hee hee~ and you're right. I have lots of work to do but it's gonna be sooner than not! Thank you for your suggestions. ~ding~

~Gina~

Bucegi · 2023-01-31 18:15:19

PinkChopper wrote:

I don't know what is going on so I've decided to just express my thoughts as of this particular “time” in the journey which is this: SOMETHING IS WRONG!
Close to 2017-2018ish, I'm thinking a walking happened or at least I suppose but I've never been the same since. I feel as if the “Soul” behind the “avatar” has been almost forced to experience a life that is 100% opposite of the REAL person, the TRUE Soul I am. Now I promise you, I can understand How some of this mess came to be, but I just don't comprehend Why.
I always believed our “higher self” was in charge and trusted there was a purpose for all I've endured and trust me! I've had FAR TOO MUCH FOR ONE HALF OF A HUMAN LIFETIME! (Some of you know exactly what I'm referring to) yet now, after this “something” which happened, I can't even tell you how much worse I've become! I feel something is wrong but I'm still on that trusting my higher self thing however, this doesn't seem right. Honestly, I'm not sure WHAT is “real” at this point or how to gain clarity regarding what is going on. Are we literally on a planet or just a game (in our head) where everything is created by our own self and if we are creating our own world, HOW IS IT POSSIBLE MINE IS 100% OPPOSITE!
I realize “mind control” is the name of the game as we each create what we believe yada yada, but I'm concerned about this connection problem perhaps is what's going on? Do y’all, meaning those of you in the “other realm” already KNOW when we are not well in a sorta mental thus physical way? I'm attempting to make sense of this “walk in” or whatever is going on situation along with the fact that I am Opposite Me yet combined with Memory I believe myself to have (which doesn't help) making it difficult to NOT “think” I'm already aware somewhat as to what is going on although I realize I don't know anything . Then there's the Incredible, Debilitating amount of pure lack of energy to amount to anything! Energetically Challenged is what I call it but I mean EXTREME lack of energy that is NOT NORMAL!!!.
I feel there is more to my story – Those meant to see this will, I KNOW THERE IS MORE TO THIS STORY. I just can't seem to click as to What. So forgive me in that way. Eventually I will catch on.
The reason for this is simply to state my thoughts I suppose because honestly, I didn't “think” it was necessary to physically express this info since I sorta thought our life was already planned, and everyone ALREADY KNOWS each other. All of us! So I'm confused as to what timeline I'm on or how “this matrix” works. Meaning, does “physical expression regarding our situation” have to happen or do you already “KNOW” this information? I hope this makes sense. I do believe you already know my thoughts and it's not necessary to have to mention this stuff. Perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe y’all do need it expressed so there we go.
And while I'm here, I Do Not Consent! I'm not sure WHAT happened but SOMETHING DID and this has just gone way too far!
I'm seeking the proper perception I suppose because thus far, and this ENTIRE EXISTENCE, if asked “What do you want?” I simply desire to return to what is for me “Home” but I also get concerned because perhaps I'm not comprehending things correctly.
This debilitating energetic hold gives no mercy for me to gain or collect myself enough to breath, much less catch my snap where I'm not feeling the EXTREME WEIGHT or simply put, no energy to hardly move! EVER! My body does not, no longer.... Does NOT feel that heart love or ANY emotions normally anymore. It's like I am in the background while the “avatar” may attempt to display say for example Joy however, that JOY FEELING never appears, regardless if the expression is made. THAT'S NOT NORMAL! I've trusted this entire lifetime but please don't tell me I've done wrong. I'm not the same and it is more than extremely difficult so please I would like to know, do our “people” KNOW what we go through on a day by day basis? I'm feeling as if I am being held “hostage” inside of my own body however, pushed away from my body if that makes sense and I do not consent!!!! I never ever ever would have believed that a person would be left in the condition as I've endured for this long a time without some form of positive interference. My feelings are quite hurt regarding that.
I sure don't want to leave an impression as if the “real me” is ANYTHING like the “avatar” as it has lived this life thus far. I am coming out of some fog with the realization that I've somehow turned into 100% OPPOSITE of the real “me” ~ as if everything I would normally had made for a choice was created backward or “yes” made into “no” for ALL choices. And yes, I can “become” the “normal me” once more but right this moment, SOMETHING ELSE IS WRONG so I'm just reporting the info I suppose because I'm lost regarding the “rules” for where ever I'm at and not sure what to think or believe for pretty much anything anymore.
Thank You and I do LOVE you all!
~Gina~

First of all, i am not reading your thoughts of that's what you wanted to imply mid sentence in your text. I dealt with this thought of others being able to somehow exactly know what's up with me for quite some time - after a long while i understood it's not them reading my thoughts, but others can pick up on my vibe, body language et cetera and to a certain extent understand how i feel right now, which we do all the time, and that's what i've been confusing with "omg they can read my thoughts noo". there's more to the story when u take the over souls (my choice of language for what you call Higher Self) of each person into account and the subconcious mind of each person which knows a lot more shit than we do, but doesn't generally communicate with the conscious mind, which is what you and I have right now when we feel like ourselves.

anyways, i have the feeling you came here with a mission. like you have something to offer to this planet earth and its society, which you came down here to give them - i don't know what it is exactly. also, i have the feeling that you are okay and your over soul is watching very closely after you and your life down here, so nothing to worry about there. and then also, i have the feeling something went wrong. i do not know which was it exactly what went wrong in your past, your over soul would know for sure. but it seems like just an medium inconvienience for you and your mission, like you got sabotaged in being you and doing what you came here to do, but it's not like it's over and that's it, it's just how it is right now and soon you could be on your path again to whatever it is you came here to do.

i hope you don't mind my feeling into your words here and what's up with your situation. also, it's just my feeling.

PS: i'm very interested in what went wrong or what happened to get you off track. mushrooms popped up when i felt into this.

anyways, i am sure you will find yourself and your track again and maybe it's exactly what needed to be so you can fulfil your mission better. have a nice day )

Jupiter 9 · 2023-02-01 01:20:34

Hello Gina,

Something that came to mind to add to what Bucegi and Celestial Marriege wrote is that you are loved beyond measure and unconditionally and you are never abandoned by the higher realms and by your spirit guide team and by our highest self, not even for a second. Then why don't they intervene and help you? They do all the time! It's just that they are assisting you not in the way you may be expecting. As Teal explains in the video below, they can't force you to make the choices and take the actions and make the changes that you need to make in order to have what you desire. And that's because you are a fragment of Source/God/The Universe and you have free will.

So the way they are helping you is by "lending all of their focus and energy towards making you aware of this detrimental pattern within yourself so that you can use your free will to make a different choice", "so as to bring about, create or manifest or be a match to, what you are wanting."

Anyway check out the video if you want and see if there is something in it that it may be of help to you. And like CM said if you have the resources you can always find a good healer or energy worker to assist you if you feel like that may help you. That's what those starseeds are here for.

The Truth About Finding Yourself in a Repeat Situation - Teal Swan

Teal Swan: "... First of all, like I said before, it is not happening because you have done something wrong
and are being punished by the universe at large.
It is not happening because the universe, what many people call a source or God, could make something else happen,
but it just isn't for some reason.
It is happening because you are a fragment of the universe, and that means you have free will.
You are a creator whether you are a conscious creator or an unconscious creator.
And if you have any way of thinking or behaving that feeds into creating the unwanted experience in any way,
that way of thinking or behaving has to be changed for the unwanted experience not to happen.
...
The universe cannot come in and force this person with this pattern to be ...
...
What the universe can do, is to lend all of its focus and energy towards making the person aware
of this detrimental pattern within themselves so that they can use their free will to make a different choice.
On top of that, lending all of its energy towards what this person desires. And when that happens,
that creates this convergence, shall we say, of all the people, places, things and circumstances
that are a match to what that person desires.
Therefore, using this previous example that I was just giving. The universe cannot come in and just make it happen
that this person is in a good relationship. Instead, this person has to recognize that detrimental pattern of withdrawal,
use their free will to consciously make a pattern change so as to bring about, create or manifest or be a match to,
whatever you wanna say, the relationship that they are wanting.
And when this happens, we could say that this person is in a true state of self-empowerment.
Now, if the universe truly loves you it wants you to be in a state of personal empowerment.
Not to be just sort of sitting there at the mercy of everything else, including itself.
...

And hang in there, you will get out of this one way or another sooner or later. And be fearless and don't be afraid of the most difficult and darkest challenges in your life. There is a lot of wisdom in the saying that "God will never give you more than you can handle".

«Contrary to what humanity believes, it is not possible to be opposed by anything whose forces are greater than our own… the antagonist is never stronger than we are!” - The School For Gods

The Antagonist
The Antagonist, the enemy, is a special propellant. The greater our degree of responsibility, the more ruthless the Antagonist’s attack. The Antagonist measures us, reveals us, completes us… The higher our degree of freedom, the more subtle his action.
Fear not the Antagonist! Behind his apparent ruthlessness hides your greatest ally, your most faithful servant. The Antagonist’s sole and unique aim is your victory…
The Antagonist employs every artifice, every strategy, to achieve his final goal: your integrity.
No one in the world can love you more than the Antagonist. You are the sole reason for his existence.
Fear not the Antagonist! Your perfection will grow with his mercilessness. Your immortality with his apparent immorality. Your intelligence will grow with his power. Your power with his intelligence.

Because the Antagonist is you!
- The School For Gods

Jupiter 9 · 2023-02-01 01:28:49

And this is a lot of text but I also wanna share something I wrote on the Telegram chat some months ago:

"Disconnection from others and loneliness and having noone in my life I can rely on especially in a low point during the events of 2020 and after, really pushed me to my limits. There was a moment where I found myself at a complete deadend all alone with noone I can turn to because all the people in my life have their own bigger issues, and I cried to my spirit guide team, "come on guys, just a little fucking help, just a tiny helping hand, I know you are there behind the veil, I am only asking a tiny little help here " and then after I felt all my feelings I started to feel better, I was ready to get up, "dust myself off" and keep going. But it was then that I had one of those gentle realizations that land soft like a feather, something so simple that it's so stupid that it didn't occur to me before.

It occured to me that I am not all alone and there IS someone I can rely on and I can turn to: ME! It's the simplest thing and it's so stupid that I never thought of this before, but it was a complete gamechanger for me. I realized that I don't need to wait or to rely on someone else to give me what I so desperately need, I can be the one who will do whatever I need to do to give that to myself. Whatever I need I can be the one who will get up and go find a way to give it to me unconditionally no strings attached. I don't need to wait on someone else or to rely on someone else. And this is such a gamechanger cause I am always there, I cannot lose me. I had to forget this and hide this for me in order to be able to have the specific life experiences that I had, but now that I remembered this I cannot lose this again.

And for this realization to happen another gamechanger realization had to happen first. This one was at another low point around the time of the whole Biden/Trump election bullshit. It occured in the same gentle subtle way, like a thief in the night, while I was watching a scene in a let's play of a game I like (https://youtu.be/wwmmqUMrZws?t=825). And again it was the simplest stupidest thing but it had never occured to me before.

I have heard a million times about unconditional love and I did love myself but no matter how many times I have heard about unconditional love I realized that I only love the parts of me that are easy to love and didn't actually love the cringy, ugly, dark, painful parts of me, the parts that are difficult to love. And it was those parts that I have abandoned and am rejecting and those are the parts that desperately need the warmth of my love.

I have never heard the term Unconditional Self-Love and I wonder if I had heard that term if this would have occured to me sooner. This is the biggest gamechanger breaktrough realizations and it made everything so much easier and it was like the civil war inside was over, there were still a lot of clean up and work and healing to do but the internal conflicts and civil war was starting to come to an end, because I dis-covered and remembered what Unconditional Self-Love really means.

Anyway everyone has different core issues and traumas and this is my personal gamechanger breaktrough because I have self-abandonment issues, but my point is that we shouldn't be afraid of our lowest darkest points, where we find ourselves all alone with noone to turn to, down in the mud, wet under our broken umbrella with our broken shoes. That was one of my lowest moments of my life where for the first time in my life I even entertained suicidal thoughts for a few seconds, I was at a complete deadend and was being pushed to my limits by the events of the last years. And it was then and there that I dis-covered and remembered the biggest treasures and had the biggest breaktroughs of my life.

So Eilis, Jen, Broken Shoes, Repaired Shoes and anyone else reading this, I hope you all have your own gamechanging breaktroughs and healing in the perfect timing and I really hope that you all discover the same treasures in your darkest hours."

Kwesi Jeffers · 2023-02-01 03:06:51

Just seeing how the baton of Love Peace Logic Help Innerstanding Sisterhood Brotherhood is being passed as on as one soldier seeks some help and how detailed and focused and intentional and willing other Seeds from the Stars come to aid a fellow crew member….makes it’s much more clear to me that at some pockets /bubbles of time (as it’s not linear) we operate in much higher expansion point of existence (so called 5d) and not even be aware of it. I love you all my crew from the stars.

Last edited by Kwesi Jeffers (2023-02-01 03:08:08)

Jupiter 9 · 2023-02-20 20:15:26

I was looking for one of Teal's synchronization workshops today and going through a list of them, this one reminded me of this thread so I am just gonna post the link:

Teal Swan- root cause of chronic fatigue syndrome - synchronization workshop

Check it out if you want, and see if this is what your extreme lack of energy is about.

#1 2023-01-31 01:14:47

Seeking the proper perception b/c SOMETHING IS WRONG!

#2 2023-01-31 02:35:33

Re: Seeking the proper perception b/c SOMETHING IS WRONG!

#3 2023-01-31 04:19:18

Re: Seeking the proper perception b/c SOMETHING IS WRONG!

#4 2023-01-31 18:15:19

Re: Seeking the proper perception b/c SOMETHING IS WRONG!

#5 2023-02-01 01:20:34

Re: Seeking the proper perception b/c SOMETHING IS WRONG!

#6 2023-02-01 01:28:49

Re: Seeking the proper perception b/c SOMETHING IS WRONG!

#7 2023-02-01 03:06:51

Re: Seeking the proper perception b/c SOMETHING IS WRONG!

#8 2023-02-20 20:15:26

Re: Seeking the proper perception b/c SOMETHING IS WRONG!

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